Blogiversary 5.0

Holy crap, guys. Happy Earth Day! You know what this means, right?

Earth Day just coincidentally happens to be our blogiversary! Perfect, right?

I love that there's a connection between our eco-friendly attempts and the ol' blog. Wow. Now, it really IS old. Five years is forever in the world of the web.

Today, I thought I'd just chat a bit about this place that I call home. Meg, Acting Out. Meg Acts Out. Whatever.

I haven't converted to Wordpress. I haven't linked the site up to a unique URL. I haven't actively monetized.

I haven't taken professional head shots. I haven't glammed the place up. I've thought about getting a DSLR camera, but it's just as much to get awesome pictures of my family as it would be to enhance the blog.

I've started posting a little less (I used to do MWF). I've even started to worry less about our number of hits (although I do find myself growing excited when I hit a certain modest number). I have no cares about whether we're SEO-aligned or not.

It's not that I don't want to put the effort into all these things. As a matter of fact, it's a dream of mine to focus on the blog and make it what it deserves to be.

But, instead, I've taken a small step back. I'm kind of taking after my husband, The Dorky Daddy, only posting about topics that I enjoy writing about, when I feel like doing so. We're slowly but surely converting to Wordpress (but, really, no hurry). I'm not accepting offers that simply sound like a commercial or don't align to my values.

Ultimately, y'know what I'm doing? I'm enjoying it. I'm blogging when I feel like it. I'm not beating myself up when I decide to spend my night goofing around with my little boy or watching a great movie instead of getting that fluffy blog post set for the next morning. I'm valuing my outlet and using it just as that. And. It's. Awesome.

Will I suddenly get a spark to organize the place into a more user-friendly, resource-based space? Will I start posting daily? Will I ever make a career out of sharing my ideas for living a simply fun life? I have no idea. If I don't, it's fine. If I do? Incredible!

But, in the meantime? It's just fun.

So, on this fifth (!) blogiversary, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking around and stopping by. It means the world that you're reading, whether you've followed for years, just check in from time to time, or you just found my small section of the world.

Now, who wants some birthday cake? ;-) 

The Real Santa

Isn't it strange how belief and acceptance can come in phases? It can be applied to much in life, but for today, I'm talking Santa.

My belief in the big guy only lasted until about second grade. I wasn't out to "find out" about him. I didn't really question a single bit of it. I was riding merrily along in full belief mode, ignorant of the facts.

But, then I found myself in a storm of constant sickness. One evening, I was resting poorly in my mother's bed (to avoid getting any siblings sick), flailing around uncomfortably, when I absentmindedly fell out of bed. When what to my eyes did appear but...Teddy Ruxpin.

I furrowed my brow. Huh. Well. Maybe Mom bought him for me instead of Santa since she knew how badly I wanted him. Yeah. That.

So, on Christmas morning, when I opened the gift and noticed that the tag did, indeed, say that the gift was from the jolly man in the red suit, well...I was depressed. The fact that good ol' Teddy only lasted a week before he started speaking a low, eerie language all his own that even my grandfather couldn't fix added insult to injury.

Fast forward 25+ years. I've been excitedly attending the Candlelight Evening at a local living history museum on and off since I was a teen. At this event, it is always the coldest time you can imagine having on planet Earth, and it is always incredible. There are white bag luminaries and lanterns lit throughout the grounds, where you can visit "local shopkeepers and vendors" like the printer, doctor, pharmacist, tavern, church and more. There's a working farm with animals that you can greet, and wassail cauldrons over bonfires strewn throughout the space. Delicious comfort food is served (can you say "gingerbread"?) and you can buy handmade goodies (or more touristy stuff) at several shops, all while hearing the sound of carolers and performers wafting with the sound of horse-drawn carriages.

I mean, seriously. What's more traditionally Christmasy than that? We hear so many songs about jingle bells and horses, sharing cheer and the like, but how often can you see it in person? It's unimaginable.

The best part of all, though, is St. Nicholas. My God, guys. It's the REAL Santa. Seriously. He talks in the schoolhouse about the tradition of St. Nick, as well as telling a story about what preparations were made for Christmas in the 1800s ("saving the best apples in the cellar from the autumn harvest"), before wandering around outside for people to interact with him. When my nephew was younger and in that is-he-or-isn't-he-real phase, he saw Santa, dropped his jaw, and went up to him to say, "It's such a pleasure to meet you, sir!!" I mean, good!

So, of course, after Dave experienced this whole thing for the first time (we even dragged some friends along over the years), we decided that it would be a tradition, barring bad weather, for our family. I honestly don't recall whether we brought Hadley when he was a baby-baby (I almost think so...?), but last year was his first memorable experience (check it out here and here). It was cold and snowy - terrifyingly so on the ride home - but wonderful. He met Santa, who knew our names (!) and the rest is history. And of course we'll be visiting this year, although we have a far antsier little toddler on our hands who may or may not allow me to sit and enjoy my gingerbread (an old fashioned peppermint stick bribe may be in order), but as long as we can see THE Santa, we'll be happy.

But I WILL have my gingerbread. Oh, yes. Make no doubts about that.

I've always tried to keep the Santa concept going with my young students, although it used to be awkward and kind of difficult for me. Now that he's part of our vocabulary, though, I find myself having total dialogues with Dave (or even myself) about what Santa's life must be like, and how he gauges between a naughty deed and being a truly naughty child, and so forth. As if I'm part of a play that turns incredibly "method", I have actually started to believe again.

I mean, of course I realize how the whole thing works. Clearly. But, thanks to this little boy (and the help of a few hundred elementary students and one incredibly convincing old-fashioned Santa), the spirit of St. Nicholas is still very much alive and well in my heart.

And, really, isn't that the idea of Christmas?

So, be honest, guys. Do you believe? Has anyone else had a "rebirth" regarding the issue? Or go ahead and tell us how you found out "the truth"?  

The Thankful Post

Happy Thanksgiving Eve, everybody! Things have finally died down here, with the Book Fair complete for another year and a few days off to enjoy the holiday. I get to hang out with the little guy today while Dave works one more day, then tomorrow it's time to watch the parade (one of my favorite parts of the day! Especially the Broadway performances), eat a big breakfast, then head off to eat with our families for the "big meal" and dessert.

We've talked to Monkey about what this special holiday means, and it's been a great opportunity to open his mind to the idea that we've super lucky (and some people aren't). It looked like I nearly blew his mind when I explained to him that we're so very lucky to have a house and food, and that some people, even little two-year-old boys, DON'T. *kerpow*

I thought it'd be fun to share a couple of simple, last-minute ideas for the holiday to help friends and family get hands-on sharing their thankfulness this Thanksgiving. This year, we'll just be having a family talk or two about the things that we're lucky and happy about, but I can't wait to try some of these out in the future!

Some of these are simple enough to throw together in less than fifteen minutes, and will help you and your guests remember - amid the craziness of getting a meal together and trying to pull everything together - that the day is about more than perfecting your recipes and using your best china. And feel free to use these as jumping off points; do whatchya can!

Thank You Bank

Thankful Tree

Brown Paper Thankfulness

 
Gratitude Jar (and Chains)
(With free printable! Couldn't be easier, really.)

Thankful Chalkboard Wall
(Could also be brown paper on the wall, easy peasy!
And I'd suggest using an old chalkboard if you have one, but that depends on if you're cooking a turkey and have the time to make one from scratch. ;-))

Thanksgiving Light
(You could also do this on a white paper bag half-filled with sand. Just insert a candle and light. Luminaries always make me cry, but that's another story!)



Frame of Blessings

Or, after discussing your blessings, have a "did you know" session about the history of Thanksgiving. Watch this brief video for a bit of the background. (They didn't have pumpkin pie or sweetened cranberries due to the lack of sugar in the "new land.") It's also a good reminder of the original natives who were trusting enough to help the Puritans settle and successfully plant in their new, treacherous conditions. Anyhoo, we're weird; we watch a different, lengthier documentary every year (sometimes twice) about Thanksgiving (and Halloween and Christmas, for that matter.) You could turn it into a Trivial Pursuit type game, if your guests are into it!

However you celebrate, whether you're giving thanks openly (saying "grace" always made me terribly nervous as a kid!) or just using the holiday as an excuse to enjoy a great meal with your favorite people, my family and I wish you the happiest of days!

Are We Important?

I'm not a religious person. I'm not preachy. I am, however, pretty philosophical. I almost chose it as my college major (I kid you not).

I've recently heard from certain non-Internety-type people (who apparently aren't aware that I have a blog), stated in a general way, "Who cares what you think? Who cares to know every little detail of your life? Where do people get off thinking that every thought that pops into one's head should be recorded and shared with the world?"

It goes on, but that's the general gist of the thing. She was speaking in regards to Facebook, but also the idea that people find a need to over-share on the interwebs.

So. Hmm. Okay. The weird thing here is...I don't completely disagree. Not fully, at least. I fully admit that we are now part of a narcissistic Internet society -- a society which, consequently, spans 85% (or more??) of the world's population for the first time in humankind's history. It's both a fascinating time to exist, but also terrifying.

Yes, terrifying.

Terrifying because the world is smaller. Hacking, plagiarism, identity theft, spying, and even the thank-god-it-hasn't-happened-yet terror attacks to the Internet are scary things. But, even more so, daily Internet use can be a heart-breaking thing.

For soft-shelled individuals (at times, this is me), the negative consequences of online bickering and trolls (I'm clearly not "big" enough; I'm lucky enough not to have experienced trolls firsthand yet!) wrenches my stomach and affects me horribly. But this is because I am a pensive person who considers words, actions, and thoughts deeply. This is a downfall of the information age; the anonymity of comments and the simple act of typing rather than speaking thoughts seems, for many people, to make those words more and less powerful all at the same time.

Wait, what? Yes. More AND less, simultaneously. More powerful because people do seem to think that what they say is the end-all be-all of the conversation; and sometimes they are. Less powerful because there's less meaning to them; it's so damn easy to say what you feel that it just comes out and isn't weighed. Posting without thinking. The epitome of our current age.

See? The power of words is ultimately a very personal thing. You may read something as incredibly hurtful while the person writing it didn't really give two hoots about the comment and didn't mean it as extremely as it may have looked. Or, perhaps you write a post that you think will truly resonate with tons of people, and you receive zero comments or feedback. Forget love is a battlefield; the Internet is the real front line.

So, should we be sharing everything from adorable cat memes to highly-charged, ignorant political posts to pictures of our vacation (whilst away)? Should we assume that everyone wants to hear everything we think or that the picture of our cat/sandwich/baby/beach body is worthy to share will billions of people because they'll be just as impressed with it as we are? Is the selfie not the epitome of self-entitled, narcissistic behavior?

I have the answer, but it's mine. That's the thing about today; opinions are rampant, and it's a glorious thing when properly directed. We are each entitled to an opinion, just as mankind has always been. The most important part is to share it when necessary.

That's why I blog, and why these statements might have struck me to the core initially, but have since settled into my heart and found a proper place. I don't subscribe to the "there's billions of us, why does anyone care what you think?" concept. I don't believe that children should be seen and not heard.

There was a time not too long ago that women were hushed. I am proud of our heritage, and proud to come from a long line of extremely outspoken women. But, to think that less than 100 years ago, we had no political voice. About 150 years ago, women weren't respected enough to take part in public forums or listen to a passionate speaker. And we shall say nothing of the consequences for a woman who wished to leave an abusive husband; by today's standards, barbaric.

I'd like to think that my voice, be it small, be it frivolous while discussing parenting and decor and living green and whatever silly thing else, is important to somebody. I'd like to think that I should be allowed to speak. I'd like to think that I'm relevant to one person. And if one person reads and connects, I will continue. In an attempt to remain humble (as much as possible) and protect some semblance of our privacy, I keep some cherished moments to myself. But if there's something that someone might find laugh-worthy or thought-provoking or might give them an urge to try out a new food or style of pillow...good.     

Will You Wear My Friendship Bracelet?

For some, this post may apply to you at age 26. For others, maybe age 39. Still others, it may not apply at all. In which case, read away and enjoy being a totally well-adjusted, sociable person. You're winning at life, and I salute you, my friend. Text me? No? Oh. Okay.

Friends. Buddies. Pals. Besties. Homegirls (or boys). BFFs. Whatever term you use, it seems that there's a weird shift that happens after a certain age. It tends to happen post-quarterlife crisis (which may last different durations depending on the person and their situation), when finding all the settling-down trappings of life -- a sweet spouse, a pet or two (or three), maybe even babies.

When you settle into living with your best friend (the one you want to grow old with; you know the one), your schedules intertwine, your to-dos rely upon the other's availability (or willingness to watch the munchkin for you while you do your own thing), and you come to find more value in watching your favorite black-and-white movies together in PJs than you do hitting up a local bar.

Or maybe your local bars are overrun by college kids and an environment that simply doesn't appeal. Or maybe it's too loud to talk over the noise. Or maybe you gave up that scene long ago. All of the above, please.

So, anyhoo, life takes over. Not an excuse. It just does.

On top of this, socializing is equal parts emotion, sport, entertainment, and game, especially when you first know someone. Playing the game ("When are you free?" That's half the battle), doing so skillfully while supporting your friend and still enjoying yourself simultaneously? It all needs to be balanced. And it becomes more of a challenge as you grow older and have less time to devote to properly maintaining a friendship, especially while maintaining a career, a happy, fulfilling marriage, a happy, well-adjusted child, and a relatively happy (if not disorderly) home. Toss in hopes and dreams and one's cup runneth over...and not always in the best of ways.

For some of us, developing new friendships is tough in the first place. We're not in college anymore, where you could bump into someone from one of your classes in the cafeteria and strike up a pleasant conversation about the tacos. We're not in high school, where you most likely knew 90% of the people in highly intimate ways ("Remember Angela Farfigneugan who showed her purple polka dotted undies in 2nd grade?") and felt like you were all kind of related in the first place. Or even the first day of kindergarten where the girl you shared the yummy paste green crayon with would be your BFF for the next ten years.

Making. New. Friends. Sucks. (Generally.) And in the Mom World, first impressions are everything. What can I say? Lots of moms seem...um...judgy. So, yeah. If I'm out at the playground with a particularly hysterical 2-year-old and make eye contact with a possible future BFF, will my parenting/aka personality/aka whole being be questioned? Plus, I'm not great at connecting. 

If you know me in "real life", you're probably aware that I'm pretty awkward. Okay, very awkward. I have a hard time not weirding people out during a conversation. I try to look into their eyes but end up doing it too long, then stare at the floor. I do listen well, but I probably give off the impression that I'm not. Or maybe that I'm psychotic. Either/or. I've also lost all ability to select appropriate conversational topics. Poop! Let's talk about poop. Cat poop, baby poop, husband poop; it's all the same. Aaaand I've gone too far.

Now that you know all of my social flaws (hug me), let's just say that the friendships that I do have are pretty damn important to me. 

This doesn't mean that I don't inadvertently, completely unintentionally neglect those highly cherished friends. Might months go by until I call or text? Absolutely. Do we rarely get together? Sure. But, when we do, a simple cup of coffee or meal together recharges me and fills me with such joy -- and hopefully my friends feel the same.

So, naturally, I hope to find more connections like these. A little support sharing, back-and-forth, from a like-minded person with a few similarities. Befriending mamas is the easiest way for the other person to realize that, yes, schedule wrangling might be a little tough and, no, we won't always be available to each other. But, guess what. We have other built-in support to get us through those times. Those husbands for venting and crying (and laughing) with. Those babies for distracting us with heightened levels of awesomeness. Those furbabies for the sincerest form of cuddling known to man. We make it work.

Non-mama friends sometimes get this -- and those are truly some of my best friends. But, the older I get, the harder it seems to make those friends. Sometimes it's even difficult to keep the old ones. I'm not a fan of it, but I can face the grim reality; it does happen. Here you get married and you never think you'll be dealing with a break-up ever again, and...bam...you find out that there's a whole other type of break-up that you forgot all about, and it hurts just as much.

I only wish I knew how to juggle it all - work, marriage, motherhood, responsibilities to all of that while also paying bills and maintaining a house. Somewhere in there I try to carve out a little bit of life and time for myself (like this blog). But, I'm not 16 anymore, or 21, or even 27. Those were completely different lifetimes. Now, everything (including friendships) takes more work, more time, and it doesn't always go the way I'd like. A new person might care less about what I have to say and I never hear or see them again. I may lose touch with an old friend and before I know it, weeks become months become years. It can downright suck when I stop for a moment to come up for air and realize I've lost a person who's been part of my cast since elementary school.

I know I'm not alone, not the first to go through this, but it doesn't make it any easier to handle or plow through on those days when it hits me, when I reflect on the past, and I see how much has changed. There is no magic answer, no magic word that can make it so. I wish there was. But sometimes I just don't know. However, the best part of growing older is learning the ability to cope. One can bitch for only so long before recognizing that it doesn't help the situation and, really, it's time to find perspective. The life that I have is the one that I chose, and I couldn't be happier with the family we've built and the journey that we're carving out.  

All this said, I still long for friendships. To know a variety of people. To do fun things. To have people who can come over, understand the messiness of three cats and three people living in less than 1,000 square feet and not care. To have a Millie to my Laura (or vice versa, depending on whether I'm the "wacky friend" or not). To laugh with abandon and say things without fear of it being used against me in the future or to share feelings sans judgment. To be able to check in with funny texts from time to time to ensure that the other's still alive, or to share a funny "doesn't matter in the grand scheme" moment. 

I'm not asking for a vast amount of friends, or for friends who can all get together and get along, or for those take-all-afternoon phone calls of junior high. I'm not necessary looking for a fellow mother, but I am looking for someone who understands that my first priority, above all else, is that role (followed closely by the happiness of my husband; I subscribe to "Happy husband, happy life." Luckily, he's an easy one to please). And I'm not greedy. Just one, two, three...a dozen BFFs. Too much to ask? 

Really, I just want someone to wear my friendship bracelet. Their choice of color.

Is that too much to ask?

* I'd like to thank Dave for helping me find the words to write this post. As with all things in life, I couldn't do it without you.

Wop, Wop

I haven't posted a gardening update in awhile. Actually, I think it was this post in late July. So, over a month. But guess what.

You're not missing much.

The joint looks exactly the same (didn't even take a final picture), except that I've completely neglected it. On purpose.

Know why? The outside cats that hang in our yard. They totally planned a jail break...INTO the garden.

Now, I don't know about you, but the thought of eating food that has officially been "fertilized" with cat droppings (seriously, head back there and you smell it instantly...sigh) is a bit of a turn-off. And the fact that the Dorky Daddy ate some of the tomatoes and developed a weird infection (possibly impetigo, possibly some other freaky thing) makes us wonder, seriously, if it could have come from this. Maybe. Just maybe.

Luckily, I hate tomatoes and Hadley only ate stuff from the garden when it was perfectly secure and safe from cat crap. Whew. Poor Dave, though. :-\

So, I would call this year a complete bust. Hugest. Sigh. Ever. The cost and energy that goes into creating a garden is so damn frustrating when you think of how little you reap when something like this happens. We did get a small amount of good stuff early in the season, but not enough to call it even, I don't think.

Let's just say that since we don't know where we'll be laying our heads come next spring, and since our garden has been so hit-and-miss over the years, I'm a tad gun-shy to start planning. I know that an enclosed space is necessary, with rows and paths. But I'm ultimately determined to be successful and learn from our mistakes, even if EVERY SINGLE YEAR we get slammed with a different one.

And the only thing I can say as far as perspective goes is that I'm incredibly lucky. My grandfather's family relied greatly upon the bounty that their tiny backyard garden provided them (as did many). Everything got canned. Everything got used. Today, we at least have the opportunity to obtain fresh, nutritious fruits and veg all winter long without blinking an eye. In her worst days, she had to scrape for her family's survival.

So, one literally crappy growing season can't outweigh the fact that this is just a hobby. One day, I hope to provide more for my own family, not for myself, but for the memory of my great-grandmother. 

And you'd better believe that I'll be trying out one or two of your recipes when I do, Clara. 

Sorry I'm Sorry

The Dorky Daddy recently posted a heartfelt admission of an issue that he deals with, which is so admirable and awesome since a lot of guys don't admit to it. I felt it was important to reiterate that it's actually an issue for the whole family. Namely, I do it, too.

We're uncontrollable apologizers. And we're officially sorry about it.

You'll see on his post the moment that the truth hit us, but let's just say that our unnecessary apologizing has been passed on to our 2-year-old son. Yup. Show any sign of distress, and he immediately starts faux crying while saying "I sowwy, Mama. Sowwy, Mama."

Lose something. "Sowwy, Mama!"

Spill something. "I sowwy, Mama! So sowwy!!"

Punish over something. "Sowwy!!" (Okay, that last one is awesome, but he doesn't know to say "sorry" for doing something wrong; just because we're upset.)

Some might say it's not a big deal, or that it's not a bad problem to have an apologetic kid.

To that I say, well, keep it to yourself. (Yeah. I went there.) You get to feel what's best or worse for your kids. We get to use our (in this case shared) intuition to decide that this is a problem for us. He's no off-the-wall, drug-abusing kid, of course, so it is all relative...but it still concerns us. And the fact that our apologetic ways allow people to discredit our feelings is something I'd rather Hadley not have to deal with, too.

Sorry for the blunt moment, but it was needed.

Wait. No. I'm not sorry. God, this is so damn difficult.

Taking the energy down for a moment *turns dial* let's address the reasons that apologizing can be a negative thing. List time:

* Sometimes...just once in awhile...it's a manifestation of passive aggressiveness. We all have frustrations on a daily basis. At work. At the grocery store. (I can't COUNT how many times in one trip I'll apologize to people at Hannaford for something I didn't do.) Out clothes shopping. Heck, at home with your partner. If someone ticks you off, be it in a big or small way, sometimes "sorry" pops out when you're actually upset about something...and aren't REALLY sorry.

And, I'll admit. When someone walks in my way or steals the spot in line or takes advantage of me at work...I will passive aggressively say, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" *raises hand* I do it. It's been done.

* Insincere or overused apologies lose their meaning. The more you say "sorry", the less you really mean it. The more I hear Dave say it, it simply blends into the conversation. Sure, it's a word of kindness (usually), but we need to learn how to use our TONE of LANGUAGE to display our kindness rather than jumping around the kitchen apologizing for tripping over each other. 

* Apologizing without thought gives the other person the upper hand. Totally. I tend to apologize as a kindness tactic -- regularly saying "Oops! So sorry you caught me eating my lunch. Sorry! What's up?" Seriously. They interrupted MY lunchtime (which I was trying to get work done during) and I'm hoping, at the very least, to receive an acknowledgement that I'm being put out a bit before dropping my sandwich and helping them out.

Instead, I've often found that the person disregards it completely and continues on, like a bulldozer, with whatever their own needs are. My confidence issues ain't gettin' any better with crap like that goin' down. It is what it is, and it's not great.

So, yeah. There's more, but that's the general idea of the thing. Our goal is to raise a happy, healthy, kind, intelligent, confident young man. Part of confidence is being comfortable with yourself and knowing how to act in situations. Regardless of how we appear, Dave and I both have confidence and self-esteem issues. The last thing we want is to pass these on to our beautiful little man. Last thing.

Dave is doing great at trying to identify when "sorry!" is an acceptable response and when it's probably not the best go-to. He's not phasing it out completely; that's not the point. It's knowing when to say it and when it's not necessary. That's all.

I, actually, already started working on my sorryisms at work last year. It. Was. Hard. There was definitely a bit of acting needed to help me learn how to not get plowed over (I also used the sorries as a way to be kind, which often got me screwed over). And, y'know what? It kinda worked. There are still people who are just always going to be hard nuts to crack (which is fine), and I learned which people respect some confidence and some boundaries.

I didn't start implementing it in other parts of my life. I didn't think it seemed necessary. But, now it seems it is.

Here are a few of the ways that we've been addressing the issue:

* I've been talking to Hadley in a low-key, "it's not a big deal" sort of way when he says it. We talk briefly about why he said it, and usually why it's not needed. If it IS needed, I'll say something like, "It was good of you to say you were sorry. When you *did such-and-such naughty act*, you were making bad choices and hurting our feelings, so it was a good thing to say 'sorry' about." Or whatevs. I've seen a quick decrease in his use of the word. Sometimes a quick one or two sentence chat gets into his smart little brain better than a super big lecture or hitting him over the head with it.

* We're not doing anything like a "Sorry Jar" or anything so drastic. Sometimes an apology is totally warranted, especially in marriage or in the day-to-day. But, we'll gently remind each other, "Honey, you said 'sorry' and it's totally cool, you didn't do anything wrong." While Dave likens it to quitting smoking (it's definitely a habit), it's not the sort of thing you need to kick yourself over when you accidentally let one slip. Sorry happens. It's a process.

* If I'm truly sorry for something, I state why. I like to use "I'm sorry because..." any time I'm actually admitting a mistake or a poor wording or any number of reasons. Self realization is where it's at. It also makes the apology carry so much more weight. It gives "sorry" back its importance.

* We're having issues, but working on finding replacements for "sorry." It's difficult because there's a sweetness attached to it that nothing can match. Again, it all depends on the situation. Sometimes it's best just to cut it out. Other times, say someone's having a bad day, just responding "Dude, that sucks" doesn't show enough empathy. So, we're feeling it out. Saying "I'm sorry your day is so terrible" might just have to be a replacement for the time being.

And just because I prefer to end on a positive note, and I hate that I was super harsh at the beginning of the post (I'm not sorry, but I don't want it to be taken the wrong way), here are some of the awesome things about "sorry":

* Sorry can melt your heart when it's said at the right time...especially by someone who's admitting a wrong or who happens to be an adorable 2-year-old who seems to be connecting to you while saying it.

* Sorry can hold so much power, when used sparingly. When you truly make a mistake and can own up to it (the hardest part), saying "I'm truly sorry" and owning the problem, then finding a way to fix it, it can earn you respect. Or not. But maybe!

Care to add anymore positive things about "I'm sorry"?

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

Alright. I'm blogging about this for two reasons. One, to remember that I took part in a timely fad for, yes, a good cause (like looking back and saying you took part in "Hands Across America" or something). Two, to add a few things to the video I made.

So, by now I'm sure everyone (except maybe my mom) has heard about the ALS Challenge, and probably been tapped to do it by a friend or two. Of course, the time came and I couldn't feign societal outcast any longer. But, I had to look into it further to decide whether I was one of the many skeptics out there, or if it was really important enough to do. You can search the internet and find a slew of people who argue for either side, and I was just slightly to one side before being forced to consider doing it.

Watching my friends post videos stating, in essence, who tagged them and the three individuals they'd be torturing back, followed by a dump of icy cold (sometimes not so much) water over their heads, had me kind of shaking my own head. My issues were thus:

a) Is it really raising awareness if no one even says WTF ALS even IS?
b) How much is it helping the cause if the point is to take part in a viral campaign that's about AVOIDING paying to help research/treatment efforts?

It seemed to be a popularity thing. A fad. A chance to lightheartedly piss off one's friends. The point of the thing was moot.

BUT...then I got tagged by my brother-in-law. He's a guy who, while we joke our butts off together quite a bit, I respect. A lot. Not only would I be tortured for NOT doing it, I respected him too much not to at least consider it.

So, I decided to do it a tad differently. Just a bit.

I researched. Of course, the internet is such that, these days, you can find a million "valid" explanations on how to do something "the right way." Yeah, no. Since this wasn't an organization-based campaign to begin with, there was really no accurate way. Some said that the point was to raise money even if you dump the ice water, just in smaller denominations ($10 or $20, depending on what you read). No matter what, if you didn't do it, you had to spend $100.

All of this left a yucky taste in my mouth. Many of my friends and family are budget-conscious folks. A good cause is great, but dipping into the grocery funds ain't. Forcing someone to give $100 or $50 or even $20 if they have a family to support just isn't the way to get help. I much prefer saying, "give what you can, if you can." 

And saying "no" just makes you a hardass; not a team player. Y'know, the kids who got made fun of in school. Neither's the best situation.

So, I did this:

Notes: I enjoy talking to folks, really, but when my nerves get up, my lisp gets a-goin'. And "ums" get used generously. And, um, degenerative. Yes. I know.

But, more importantly, I'm trying to bring some awareness to the thing. Aside from stating the definition of ALS (poorly, but still) and the official website for donations (is anyone else waiting for some fake ALS sites to pop up and start making a false profit on this thing??), I make it clear that I am ALSO making a donation, and invite anyone to do so, as well. The ice water was really just for fun, to avoid familial harassment, and to prove that I'm a tough broad.

A couple of facts that I had hoped to state, but I knew I'd ramble and the thing would be wicked long:

There are over 30,000 individuals in America alone living with ALS. Once receiving a  diagnosis, the life expectancy is 5-6 years, tops. There is only one medication to treat ALS, and it only extends one's life by mere months. There. Is. No. Cure. Oh, and this disease doesn't discriminate; young, old, white, black, fit, unhealthy. It's not genetically passed. It's like winning some horrific lottery. "Hey, ya never know."

I kid you not. Check out alsa.org for more sad but true information.

Oh, and to learn more about Lou Gehrig, I greatly suggest watching "The Pride of the Yankees". Sure, there are tons of great books out there, but there's nothing like watching Gary Cooper portray the real man, being brought down by this crippling disease in his prime. It's heart-breaking and true.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming... Oh, and do tell me what you think of the challenge in the comments! Did you take part? Are you hoping to? Do you think it's a superficial masking of truer fundraising efforts? Let's chat!

I Blame Louisa, Laura, and Lucy

Lately, I've been noticing that a lot of bloggers I casually enjoy seem to have a small running theme. A similarity. A coincidence, perhaps, but a common thread, regardless.

Sure, some blogs share a pioneering spirit, raising chickens and baking their own bread and growing what they eat. Others like getting their hands dirty and DIYing their hearts out. Lots share a life-simplifying philosophy. Many chat about living an earth-friendly life. Most ultimately focus on giving their all to their families.

Just drop the name "Anne" (with an "e") on Facebook and the chatter starts. The same can be said for Laura and, to a lesser extent, Jo.

I blame the ladies. Those independent lady authors who came before us and created such true-to-life characters (characters who often reflected their own independent streaks) that still resonate with readers and fans a hundred plus years later.

Like many who grew up in the late '70s and '80s, I watched quite a bit of "Little House on the Prairie" and then, after watching my sister read the crap out of the series, swiped them from her book shelf when I was old enough to read a chapter book. During a time that could be construed as a bit terrifying (high child mortality rate, taking huge risks traveling to a new, dangerous territory to raise one's family, relying on one's own hands to provide food and shelter), Laura and her family faced challenges but grew together with warmth and even some fun. "Half-Pint" was allowed to be her own individualistic, at-times outspoken self.

I still think of her when I smell lemon verbena or see it at Bath & Body Works.

Laura was my gateway girl. Sweet and readable, I longed to eat biscuits with jam, grow my own garden, pull taffy, wear calico dresses with braids, and pretty much build a time machine to go join Laura in any one of her family's cabins. It was definitely one of the things that sparked my history obsession.

Next, thanks to the impeccably-produced "Avonlea" TV series, which my mother and I watched religiously each week, I became interested in the books of Lucy Maud Montgomery. I took one or two of her original Chronicles of Avonlea books from the library, but got absolutely hooked when I met Anne.

I loved Lucy's Sarah Stanley, but Anne was timeless. Between Megan Follows' performance in the miniseries and finally reading a handful of the Anne books (namely, Anne of Green Gables) when I was old enough to comprehend the flowery language (very Victorian), I lurved her. Anne (with an "e") Shirley was handed a pretty unlucky hand. Orphaned. Passed from one unfriendly family to the next. She finally landed in Prince Edward Island with strict, sensible Marilla Cuthbert and her silent, sweet brother, Matthew.

Her spunk, spirit, independence, and intelligence always inspired me. Aside from her disdain for her red hair, she never seemed to feel sorry for her lot in life. It helped me to recognize that, throughout history, lives have been hard. Damn hard. Far harder than mine, even growing up without my father. It taught me to suck it up and find the joys in life.

And, then, there was my all-time favorite author and character.

I watched the movie first -- the good one, the 1994 one. (I love Katharine Hepburn, but hers is only second place of the five -- yes, FIVE -- versions.) It became a family classic. My sister and I will still throw in the DVD on those "off" days we need the comfort of the story and the friends within. Then, in about 8th grade, I got my very own copy of Little Women for Christmas (which, considering the first chapter's theme, was perfect). Since then, I've read it piecemeal every year, or a different LMA work or biography. I have a new copy, but kept the old one. Of course. My dream is to own a first edition (two volumes).

Jo, the second oldest of four March girls, is the epitome of a feisty chick. She feels incredible highs when she's able to read, write, and act with her sisters and friend-next-door Laurie (um, a guy), and incredible lows when she feels a great urge to be able to do greater things during the Civil War and in her own life, a tad bitter that she wasn't born a boy with the rights they were afforded. She'd rather run, use slang, and speak her mind than be quiet or prim and proper. She's a modern woman if ever there was one. I like to think she (in the form of Louisa May Alcott, her alter-ego) would have very much enjoyed and embraced the independence that women have gained, and it makes me appreciate the education and choices I've been afforded. Even if I have chosen to get married and have kids. *wink, wink*

Little Women and LMA is one of the reasons that we like to travel to Concord from time to time. I've been through her house once (and, honestly, felt like I was meeting a celebrity the whole time) and have learned about transcendentalism, her famous family friends and acquaintances, and every year seem to find out more deeply interesting facts about her family and past. The fact that it's the site of the shot heard 'round the world...well, for a history freak like me, that's the icing on the cake. Nom nom.

I think it's only natural that so many of the independent female writers of today who may see any of these writers or their timeless girls as idols have taken to the interwebs to write their own hearts. The women of yore were romantic but realistic. True to themselves and independent. Hard workers to support their families. Strong as hell in the face of adversity. They helped show us a world outside our tiny little girl lives, inspired us to dream, and taught us to try what we want and work hard at it.

Write away, girls. Write away.

Shave Time, Shave Money

We are nothing if not simple folk. I know some who know us might disagree -- we're not Amish, by any means (and if I'm offending any Amish...what the heck are you doing on the Internet??). But, ultimately we feel that it's better to live a simple life than a life full of too much stuff, too many complications and too much drama.

So, simple we are.

That said, when the Dollar Shave Club (yes, that Dollar Shave Club, founded by Mike, himself) asked if I'd be up for a "Shave Time, Shave Money" challenge, I was like, "You know who I AM?!" Er. Stay cool, Meg. Stay cool. I was like, "You betcha!" in my best mock Sarah Palin voice. Seriously, I'm a sucker for a challenge, even if it's failing miserably while attempting it. See also: junior high basketball attempt...and volleyball.

I thought I'd share a handful of ways that we have stumbled upon that have shaved time and/or benjamin-spending from our family's daily routine. See if you're doing any of these simple life hacks already or if they'd help you out...

- Tea and coffee, coffee and tea. Hot water + plant life that's been toasted beyond recognition = an item that many can't make it through the day without.

And know what takes more time than you may realize on a daily basis? Waiting in line for your morning fix. Even if it's a drive-thru, it takes at least 7 minutes in our neck of the woods (and if you have to go inside? Fuhgettaboutit.). Not to mention the cost. Even a basic $2 coffee (and we all know it's not $2, especially a soy mochafrappamachiacino) adds up to $10 a week, or $40 by the end of the month. So, yeah. We don't play that game.

Instead, while we're running around putting lunches together, we put on the teapot or get the coffee going. By the time lunches are done, our hot beverage is ready for sugar or honey or milk. A big pro here is that we have complete control over the ingredients. Let's just say that even organic coffee or tea is mere cents a cup made at home vs. $2 at Dunkin' or Starbucks.

You can be like my awesome stepdad and measure out the coffee and fill the machine with water to make it easy in the morning to just flip the switch when you're ready.

- Speaking of lunches, prep is key. If you make a conscious decision to make, say, one huge salad on Sunday night, it'll make weekday mornings markedly easier. I kid you not; stay in bed 10 more minutes. Just store items like sliced tomatoes, sliced strawberries (seriously, don't laugh, they're soooo good with feta in a salad), or diced cheese separately to avoid slimy grossness, then just assemble quickly in the morning (or, better yet, the night before).

We're cool with salads (plus some grilled chicken or varied toppings) everyday; just grab a cup of yogurt, an apple, and a bag of pretzels or popcorn. We throw in a wrap (also made in advance, filled with some of the salad ingredients) or leftovers once in awhile so that the salads don't get boring. Packing a different flavor of dressing or vinaigrette, or using a variety of ingredients helps, too. We find that a handful of almonds can really add another level of flavor.

Not only does this provide a healthy option, but it also makes it easier to "just say 'no'!" to a takeout or fast food lunch. It's definitely way cheaper to do the Ford assembly line method, too.

Is "Just Say 'No'!" too 80s to reference anymore? Too Nancy Reagan? You can be honest, I can take it.

- This one's for you die-hard money saving fools out there. We've talked before about our decision to switch off the cable, but it's the perfect time to bring it up again.

We were sick of the high cost of cable and the fact that we only watched, say, 20 of the 70 channels. So, we bravely switched to the 11-station plan. Um, I say "bravely" because we were addicted, and we didn't know anyone taking that step. (Compared to, say, soldiers...we ain't brave.) Since then, we've adjusted fine and even have a few friends and family cutting back, too.

If there are certain shows you need to, like, exist, don't sweat. Hit up Google to find out what streaming device will hook you up with your faves and put a chunk down to buy it. Seriously, still way cheaper in the long run.

Luckily, Dave and I love PBS (hellooooo, Downton, History Detectives and Sherlock!), Hadman's also a PBS lover (Sesame Street and Daniel Tiger!), and we've had Netflix streaming on the Wii forever. It suits us just fine.

- Share and share alike. What's simpler than purchasing only ONE of everything? This is a tad different with a toddler around, but the Dorky Daddy and I share a lot of the basics, and it cuts back on extra purchases and makes shopping super easy. We use the same toothpaste, soap, shampoo (I've even been known to use Hadley's), deodorant...yeah. A lot. It's also helpful to keep an eye out for coupons and know that you're saving even more. 
But don't share razors. Ew. If you're looking to streamline your shaving experience and pay less doing it, try the Dollar Shave Club. For one low monthly price, they send you "f$%&ing great" razors and keep you smoother for cheaper. Seriously, for as low as a buck; what's cheaper than that? $12 a year?! That's nothing. Have you BEEN through the razor section of a store lately? Insane.
 
- Dude, shop at a grocery store. This may sound weird, but my advice is to shop at a grocery store for your groceries.

*crickets*

Yyyyyyeeeeaaaaahhh. By this...what I mean is...okay. If you're used to shopping for groceries at a store like, say, Schmalmart, think about how many times you've come home with something that wasn't food or food-related. I'll wait.

*clicks on Canadian TV station*

*clicks off*

*looks around*

*takes a drink*

Figure it out? Back when I used to shop at Schmalmart, in my glamorous bachelorette days, I spent about the same amount of cabbage that I do today at my local grocery store. While buying just food. For THREE people.

What busted my bill so badly back then? Extra crap. "Oh! $5 t-shirts! Seasonal candles! Clearance flats!" See what I mean? I ALWAYS bought something else -- something I didn't need -- when I went grocery shopping."

Side note: I also bought stuff like bottled water, soda, and a million more processed items back then. We've since gone "real food" and while organic is more expensive, the fact that I'm not adding on stuff like that helps balance the cost. Just sayin'.

While I know there are pitfalls of shopping at a grocery store (I do get my dish soap, washing detergent, toilet paper, etc. at the grocery store), it's mostly food, so it's harder to fall prey to the "buuuuuuyyyy mooooorrrre" monster. Also, I don't kill an entire afternoon or a couple of precious hours shopping anymore. 

Make more sense now? Sweet.

- Think old. It's no secret: Dave and I are old souls. We probably over-romanticize the past and long for simpler, wholesome times (without all that bigotry and hatred). To be blunt, I wish we could live in a Capra movie. And it looks like Hadley is on the same track, preferring '40s big band for dinnertime listening to anything else and he still kicks up his heels to Fred Astaire songs. (It's like he knoooowwwws.)

But, I'm not suggesting that you take it to our extremes or start dressing all vintage or join a swing dance club. What I am suggesting is that you just take a step back and think about life back then and how you'd like to slow down your modern life a bit.

People grew gardens. People knew their neighbors and said 'hi' and sat on their stoops and dropped off cookies for no real reason (except maybe to say 'thanks' for watching their kids last-minute the week before). People only owned a handful of outfits, enough to fit into a single armoire. People owned the basics, but knew how to be happy. People were thrifty by nature and it wasn't looked upon negatively.

How can you fit some of these into your daily life? We try to purge every season (and sometimes more than that) and keep only what we love. We question our purchases. We stop to talk to neighbors when we have a minute. We shovel their walkways when we have extra time. We wave when we drive to or from home.

And the occasional day offline helps you feel more connected with the life around you, a well. Our grandparents were the original YOLO generation; it's good to look to them as models of a good life.


So, there we have a handful of methods that we like to utilize to "cut" (get it? Cut...) back our money a-spending and time a-wasting. Do you already use any of them? What tips would you add to the list? Did I rise to the "challenge"? Am I the only 30-something who joneses to watch "This Old House" and "Antiques Roadshow"? Answers! I need answers, people!


***Disclaimer: I was not monetarily compensated or provided with free products for my feelings. Dollar Shave Club and I partnered for the topic of this post. As always, all thoughts are completely, 100% my own.***

Moderately Green

Am I the only 32-year-old who's still trying to find her identity in a super awkward way? I hope that my son can see me as a fun, silly, intelligent, independent, take-no-guff sort of woman. He may be young enough still to naively see that, but I'm scared that he's going to see me as the un-hot mess that I feel I truly portray on a daily basis...any day now.

Just puttin' that out there. Am I alone? Maybe. And that's okay.

To add to the un-hot messiness and my lack of real identity -- I don't identify as a librarian (although that's technically what I am, in a school setting), I don't identify as a 30-something most of the time (I'm still 12, right? Or am I 80?), I don't identify with a million other things; I only truly identify as a wife and mother -- I'm green. Er, well, I try to be green. I try as much as my oft-zapped energy will allow. And life sometimes gets in the way of that.
Thing is, seeing the levels of "green"-ness out there, it's easy to deal with the dreaded green guilt. Actually, this happens in most areas of life these days -- competition. It's mostly a female thing, it gets greater and greater when you become a mom (WHY IS THAT?! As Arrested Development's Gob would say, "C'MON!!!"), and it can get overwhelming. Soccer moms. Urban moms. Christian moms. Heck, doggie moms.

"I did *such and such*."

"Oh, yeah? Well, I did *a such and such deemed greater thing*." {Thinks to self, "I'm the best."}

It's a thing, and it sucks.

It's not always stated openly this way, but just seeing blogs and Pinteresty ideas and such things, it's hard not to get dragged down that you're not doing enough.

Like...for instance...I've failed at some of the things that a green mama might use to generally identify herself as a green mama. Our diapering situation never took a turn for the cloth. It just didn't. I used them a bit, but it never stuck. (We have used eco-friendly dipes all through, but still, I'd have preferred cloth.) Next time around, we'll do them, I swear. But it just didn't happen this time.

Baby wearing never stuck, either. Or baby led weaning. Or co-sleeping. Or probably 30 other things that the cool kids are doing. They just didn't work for us.

I try not to feel badly about it, and I'm really learning how to not feel "Less" anymore. This really is a HUGE thing for me in every aspect of life. I've had self esteem issues f-o-r-e-v-e-r, and saying "I'm sorry!" for everything has become the norm. So, I'm working on apologizing less, taking responsibility only for myself, and not letting the judgments make me feel -- you got it -- Less than anyone else. That's capitalized for good reason, by the way.  

Which is why I love contributing to Green Child Magazine. It never feels like work. I'm able to learn about topics that are directly important to me, and can often write the pieces pretty quickly out of sheer excitement. Currently, it's an unpaid gig, but that's fine to me. I'm "meeting" (virtually...do we still use that term, virtual?) some incredibly genuine, dedicated, talented, kind women in the process, and what's better than that? No, really. What's better? Good people are hard to find.
I mean, what's better than this article (written awhile back, but still one of my faves), which pretty much sums up the fact that NO ONE'S doing it perfectly. No one's living the "greenest" life. Whatever we're doing...it's good enough, until we decide to do more. At least we're doing SOMETHING.

So, I'm happy with the things I do. Which, come to think of it, are plenty.

I've chatted with y'all about green guilt before. A few times, actually. But, it's always good to return, especially now that I'm a mama...and green mamas be some of the coolest (yet competitive) ladies on earth. I'm trying just to be "enough" in my own book, and the best I can be for my family and the future of the planet.

Now, off to research essential oils. ;-)

Blogiversary 4.0

Tomorrow's Earth Day again, and you know what that means! Well, maybe you don't, but let's pretend you already know that it's my...

Yep! This marks my fourth year blogging. Pretty cool, huh? Also super cool that I share my blogiversary with Earth Day. It's only appropriate, really, although I realize I haven't written many "green posts" lately. We're just livin' it everyday, is all. This is one of my favorite weeks of the year, though, except for that whole "spring break is over" thing.

My mind was blown and I was wicked humbled when we topped 2,000 views last month -- one day being the brunt of the views with 753...yes, in one day! (I still haven't figured that out...and I MUST KNOW! I'm blaming a computer glitch. ;-)) Overall, we've had shy of 35,000 views. Considering last year we had close to 16,000 (and only around 6,000 [or 9,000, depending on who's doing the math...which would be me...which means they're probably both off] the year before), I'm floored. And happy. And, again, humbled. It's just nice to know that I'm not just writing for myself. Well, I AM, but I'm not...y'know what I mean?

I thought today I'd share a story of my love affair.

Um, no. Not that one. Or any of them, for that matter.

This is the story of my long love affair with the world wide web.

When we were kids, "computer class" was all about playing Oregon Trail and maybe even typing a paper up...maybe. That was kinda it. And I loved it. My family had an ancient Mac that my dad used, but my oldest brother got to use it after Dad passed...and I don't really remember what happened to it after that. So, our weekly computer class was pretty much the peanut butter to my jelly. Yes, I even preferred it to library. (I didn't always see eye-to-eye with my librarian in elementary school. I am TOO ready to read Little House in the Big Woods!! Forget you, lady.)

Then, one of my best friends (who happened to be better off than my family; the things we didn't wonder or feel weird about when we were kids) got a computer. It was housed in her parents' room, and every once in awhile we'd be allowed to use it. I can still remember that god-awful sound of the dial-up internet screeching and crackling making its eventual connection to the outside world. I loved it. I loved it more than my friend did, so I'm sure I irritated her when I'd (almost constantly) ask if we could hop on the computer almost every time I visited. The obsession had begun.

What did we do on this oh-so-new contraption? Why, go into chat rooms, of course! I look back and consider how a) stupid and b) innocent I was about those people we were talking to from, oh, everywhere.

I started to save up for my own computer, but given their extreme expense, I just couldn't swing it. Cue my mother's marriage to my stepdad when I was in 8th grade.

Shortly thereafter, he purchased us a laptop. A heavy, square-ish, clunky gray laptop whose fan ran at jet-level propulsion speeds and whose graphics took an hour (or more) to load. Those were the days when we'd turn it on, go let the dog out, pour some cereal, finish our social studies homework, then go back to the computer to click on Internet Explorer. Type in site (Geocities, anyone? Monkees.net? I can't remember the other chat rooms I used; probably Yahoo), continue doing chores, let dog in, see that half of Peter Tork's face has appeared on the computer screen, finish eating cereal...and the beat goes on.

Eventually, AIM (for those too young, it was AOL's Instant Messenger, and it saw me through high school and college before MySpace) made communicating with friends from school insanely convenient and faster than a phone call. I got into writing some Monkees fanfic and started researching other musicians I enjoyed. Heck, I even "met" some fans and for the first time didn't feel like quite such an outcast for my interests.

I still recall the time we got home; my mother, Jerry and I, from Christmas Eve mass. I jumped online and found (probably from Napster, of all places) an old Bing Crosby Christmas radio show (on our fancy schmancy desktop -- movin' up in the world!) that bellowed throughout the first floor of our house. It was probably one of the first times my mom didn't despise the computer.

Years later, I've logged countless hours, as have many of us, on several computers. I now have a smartphone -- a thing that my stepdad predicted in the '90s would exist someday -- and a brand new less-than-$500 laptop that does far more, far faster than any of the $2,000+ models of yore.

Today, I still use social media -- namely Facebook, but I'm trying to learn G+, as well as Twitter (on rare occasion), Pinterest, and Instagram -- but don't have to seek out social interaction with strangers as I once did. I'm far more guarded and, hopefully, wiser about my choices on the web. I still over-share (here I am, blogging!) But, I still find my time easily getting sucked up with articles about child-rearing, blogs about how to DIY your own art, and quizzes (things never change there) about which movie character you are.

But, what's my favorite thing to do with the WWW these days? (You know, ASIDE from taking addictive Buzzfeed quizzes.) Tied with blogging comes...

Ancestry.com.

I swear, I'm 90.

It's the weird "gotta find stuff out" research-based side of my brain meeting the romantic history-obsessed side in a glorious series of late-nighters. Yeah, the only time I can get much family tree-ing done in when Hadley's asleep...um, and Dave. Generally next to me in bed. Snoring.

It's an adrenaline rush when you start to see pre-Civil War (and Revolutionary War) years and names popping up. When you're given extra reading to really LEARN the story behind the names, or when you realize that your direct ancestor is laid to rest at a famous historical cemetery that you've visited several times while touring Boston (or, hell, at a tiny historical cemetery less than 15 miles away at the old homestead...that I've never perused), it's exhilarating. Looking up further web sites for information about historical events those names took part in helps the names to walk and move and even talk a little.

So, that's what I'm doing thanks to good ol' technology these days. What about you? How different is your computer experience today than it was, say, 20 years ago? Clearly, you're reading my blog, so I want to give you a HUGE hug (you know the kind...the full-on happy squeeze one) and say "thanks!!!" with a tear in my eye for using a few minutes of your precious time stopping by.

While you're responding below about what you're doing on the Internet these days (um...I should say "keep it clean," but I really don't care ;-)), feel free to let me know what you LIKE, LOVE, and think NEEDS IMPROVING here at Meg, Acting Out. Any feedback helps SO much, guys!

Embracing Self Care - Health & Spirituality

Last week, I did a self-analysis for the blog project hosted by The Humbled Homemaker called...

Is it weird that I feel a touch of guilt to turn the focus on myself vs. taking care of everyone else? Ack. That's what this whole thing is about, though; recognizing that it's imperative to take care of OURSELVES in order to properly care for our families and loved ones.

Anyhoo, back to the task at hand. One of the issues that I mentioned last week is that, thanks to the crazy scheduled, toddler-centric, over-tired aspects of our life, we seem to be out of touch with our spirituality.

*record scratch*

Okay. This would probably be a good time to state publicly: We're part of that growing percentage of folks who don't really identify with a religion. Read: We're non-religious. Not atheist. Not nontheist, even. Just...don't identify. I like to say that we're both recovering Catholics, and I think Dave is a mix of atheist with a good dose of Buddhist. And I'm essentially "undecided" on the checklist.

It feels terribly taboo to even make such an announcement, but since this week is all about spirituality, it seemed a good time to mention it. See, I'm not sure the last time I read a blog from someone who wasn't a known Christian. Not kidding. Most of the homestead-y blogs I follow are run by uber Christians. Even a lot of the shelter blogs I enjoy are run by super religious folks.

And I enjoy them, even when I think to myself, "Huh. I'm a tad uncomfortable that I'm not 'part of the club.'" Read: I never write about religion because I don't want to alienate anyone... So hopefully no one's offended by our current religious decisions. It's where we are, and I'd rather be honest than mute.

I'm actually quite well versed in the religions (I was very close to majoring in philosophy in college, and as I see it, religion is all about a person's life philosophy) and have a plethora of priests/ministers on both sides of my family. I've been "converted" once [clearly didn't stick...and my mom flipped, understandably so; I was, like, 10 years old]. I've had a love-hate relationship with traditional organized religion and experimented with Eastern religions in high school. (Thanks, Beatles and Peter Tork, for your influence.)

The most "in touch" I ever was with my spiritual side was definitely when I was in about 9th grade and had read A LOT about transcendental meditation. I've gotta tell ya...that $%&# is real. Meditation helped me to find myself during a normally confusing, crazy hormonal time. It helped me to recognize the "truth" of life. It helped me learn how to cope with stress and center myself in ANY situation. It helped me to connect with my surroundings and nature in deeper consciousness levels. Heck, I used to be so in-touch with my inner being that I still remember my first out-of-body meditation experience -- in a very busy cafeteria during study hall the day of Mr. Hefner's funeral. How's that for specific? LOL.

So, let's just say, I don't judge folks for their religion if they don't judge me. Can't we all just get along? :-D

SPIRITUAL CARE

Needless to say, I'm not centered anymore. The life of a teenager is worlds away from that of a grown up mama. I can still analyze the stress level of a situation and calm myself mentally, but there's zero meditation. Zero spiritual connection. Zero gravitational pull.

Dave has mentioned an interest in meditation before, but nothing has ever come of it. I'm going to bring it up to him and see if he'd be interested in a) learning how to do it (I'm rusty, but I've got a pretty good foundation) and b) actually putting it into our schedule rotation.

Even if he's not interested, I'd like to be able to add PEACE into each day. Even a minimum of ten minutes spent with zero TV, zero phone, zero internet will hopefully help me start to center. A little at a time. :-) And I think that I'll be able to find some patience to deal with an almost-terrible-twos munchkin and an ability to focus better on Dave and his needs.

HEALTH CARE

On a health note, we also need to analyze our sleep situation. We've been going to sleep earlier and earlier, to no avail. We still wake up relatively exhausted. Whuh??

According to this British article (love those!), there are a couple of things I'm doing wrong. Firstly, I hit snooze. Heck, I actually set two alarms on my phone -- an initial one, then the "bonus!" one that makes me feel like I hit the ten minute jackpot. Silly girl. No more of that.

Secondly, the thing that makes the most sense AND helps us get in touch with our spirituality (hello, 2 birds + 1 stone) is GETTING OUTSIDE. It's been one heck of a winter for, um, everyone everywhere, so we've definitely gotten in a "sit on our arses" rut. It's time for us all (as a family) to get a-walkin'.

Remember when we were kids and the first nice day hit? We'd run outside and play with anything that wasn't covered in cobwebs, or just walk around the block -- LOVING that we just had to wear our brother's hand-me-down light jacket (since we'd only needed it for, like, a week). Didn't we sleep like babies that night? Of course.

Well, that's the idea here. I wish we could do it daily, but with P/T two nights and dinner-making, I just don't think it's plausible. However, if I make a concerted effort to plan SIMPLE meals and get outside a few times each week, it might help recharge us enough to try it even more. Baby steps. :-)

How are you doing with your spiritual and health journey? Are you in need of any fine tuning in any areas? Do you ever feel uncomfortable when your religious views don't align with someone else who wears it on their sleeve? Or is that just me? ;-)

Embracing Self Care - Know Thyself

Over the next few Wednesdays in April, I'll be taking part in a little blogging exercise (hosted by the Humbled Homemaker, woohoo!) by chatting about the different facets of self-care. You know the ones. Things like health and spirituality, finding peace in the home (this encompasses several concepts), and healthy ways to find R and R. Those things we tend to ignore on a day-to-day basis. Remember those?

I absolutely love this theme. Whether you're a student who is too busy (or too stubborn...hey, I've been there) to properly take care of yourself, or a parent who is too swamped and exhausted to think past the rest of the family, or just an individual who has gotten into a rut, anyone can relate to forgetting to take care of yourself.

There are so many more relevant, important things to worry about, right?

Wrong.

This is an underlying, unspoken issue that I see bubble up from time to time in my family. The Dorky Daddy and I are able to compartmentalize -- parenthood/family, work, maybe a hobby from time to time (acting or writing or working on our websites). But, those are the only constantly-present "compartments" of our lives.

What else falls to the wayside? Um. Lots. Here are some of my personal concerns:

Cleaning and true organization. Just ask the cake of dust on my bedroom TV. (What? We're the only ones watching it, and rarely at that. Why clean it often? Ahem. Yeah, I'm wrong.)

Health. (She says as she sits sneezing and nursing a headache while writing this.) But, seriously, this also relates to the fact that a lot of days we find ourselves just so exhausted or fatigued.

Inner peace. We're not what anyone might call "religious," but I know we'd both like to get in touch with our spiritual sides better.

Balance. Okay, for realsies, I've heard a lot of folks say that this simply isn't possible. Well, I'm pretty sure that's not 100% true. Life is totally a seesaw, and that's not a bad thing. But it's obvious when things are tipping far too much in one direction. For example, when Dave was working at his previous job, it didn't just take the time he was there, but additional work from home, as well as the stressful distraction that it caused for him. His seesaw is now officially WAY more balanced, and it's a better thing for ALL of us. Side note: We're still grateful for this DAILY.

"Us." This is more of a "we need to make a concerted effort to spend time together and HAVE FUN" than a "we have issues" thing. We've gotta make some dates and enjoy them. We need to focus on whether or not the other person is doing too much and try to take the load off. We need to discuss openly tasks that we have to work on around the house (or other things they need help with) and actively plan on days and times to work on them. This has all been easy to forget when so much of life revolves around a high-maintenance toddler. We need to take folks up on the offer to babysit more, and find more things that we can do as a trio (not just baby-centric stuff).

My ultimate issue is simply figuring out how to use my time wisely. There's so much I want to achieve, but getting motivated when I'm exhausted, or balancing the time between family and the rest of life, or ensuring that I don't let something important fall to the bottom of the list. Focusing on a different topic each week may help me implement a few small, achievable tips -- and I'd LOVE to hear any suggestions you have (or even to commiserate a bit about our individual issues).

Remember, our ultimate goal here is to focus on self care.

So, how well do you "know thyself"? What areas do you need to work on?

On this week, we’ll be assessing our needs and our personalities and getting a handle on what kind of self-care needs to happen in our lives. - See more at: http://thehumbledhomemaker.com/2014/03/embracing-self-care-community-blogging-project.html#sthash.USyLHbo4.dpuf