Weening

This is kind of an emotional post for me to write. Not for you to read, just for me to write. Please bear with me, and apologies for the lack of super dorky graphics.

Hadley and I have been nursing ("I" because it takes both of us...can't nurse him sleeping, can I? If so, I never figured out a way ;-)) for various periods of time for just shy of 22 months. I declare this number because just at the end of last week, I finally decided to have a talk with him.

See, I had no idea how to ween him. He had gotten down to one pre-bedtime nursing session (a very brief one, at that) and one extended middle-of-the-night/early-AM nursing session (which generally took a good hour to hour-and-a-half out of my sleep schedule nightly...if I could get back to sleep, argh). During the day, he had moved on to watered-down whole milk and juice, and plain ol' water, so I wasn't pumping anymore.

I realized that he was going to continue on with the nightly sleep deprivation until college until he understood that if he needed it, I'd be happy to get him up and nurse, but that if he was doing it for some unknown internal reason, he could sleep through it if he wanted.

So, during one of the pre-bedtime sessions last week, I chatted with him using the sweetest language I could muster, thinking that a) I was quite possibly borderline insane for thinking he'd comprehend and b) I was a horrible mother for taking this experience away. I still feel a deep twinge of sadness over it all, but let's just say that a miracle happened. He stirred a bit at his usual "get up and nurse" time, but fell back asleep after a brief back rub, not to awaken again until the morning.

Next night: Even better, no stirring.

Following night: Same. Happy Mother's Day, Mama!

Sunday night: A touch of whining, but back to bed like a champ. (Of course he awoke a bit; it was a school night. Why wouldn't he get me up?)

Noticing a trend? We're still doing our very brief, pre-bed "snack", along with a heartfelt mother-to-son chat about whether he wants to get up for a nurse later on, but the killer middle-of-the-night wake-up calls have pretty much stopped. One night, he sat up wide awake and I chatted with him about it -- he didn't really want to nurse, he implied (yes or no questions are da bomb), so I explained that it was time to go back to sleep. Head down, eyes shut, bam. Asleep.

It's almost (pretty much) the end of an era. I kept hitting milestone points. We made it to 12 months. We made it to 18 months. He's hardly gotten sick, hooray for breastmilk.

So, why am I still feeling guilty that I've ended it? There's a badge of honor amongst nursing mamas these days -- not all, mind you, but a handful -- that the longer you do it, the more...I don't know...the better(?) you are.

At the same time, I try to remind myself that this is what works for us. I wasn't planning on having a 4-year-old still regularly nursing. Our nursing wasn't much about comfort for Hadman, either (different kids do it and use it for different reasons; he never sought nursing out when he was emotional or upset or hurt). I'm proud that I was the first woman in generations of my family to "make it work." And I still hold firm to the belief that if it doesn't work out for you, it's NOT your fault, and you can only do what's best for you and your family.

Not that there's one "best" that works for everyone. Or that my "best" is better than yours. It's not.

It's just mine. And ours.

Happy 22-month birthday, Hadley.

Partying Simply

Last Wednesday, I revealed my plans for Hadley's second birthday party (which will be in July). Can you tell I'm a tad excited about it??

While I was typing up that post, I thought about all the things that we do to try to keep the festivities eco-friendly. Mind you, in all things green, I think we've plateaued at a nice medium kelly green; not mint green (not at all eco-friendly) but not even bordering on dark moss (practically living in the woods). It's a place we're comfortable being. Our efforts are still there and have become a habitual part of our lives, but we don't sweat it if we have to use a paper towel once in awhile. Y'know?

So, that said, I thought I'd share a few of the *simple* tricks and tools we use to keep a birthday shindig more about the monkey and less about the ozone.

- Reuse, reuse, reuse. I don't expect every guest not to use wrapping paper, but if I can, I recycle it. (I WILL love you forever if you bring a gift bag. That's almost all I use anymore. Perfect for reusing!) Our decorations this year will also utilize the poufs I hung around last year (if they've survived), probably along with a handful more that I'll make new. The sign for "Hadley's Party" I made last year will be tapped into the front lawn again, too. So, any decorations you make or buy, consider whether they'll have a future purpose, or can at least be recycled (hello, crepe paper!) when you're done. I'm also going to hit up the thrift shops to see if they have any yellow or blue curtains or sheets to use as tablecloths (may or may not work, but we could use them in the future, too!) Heck, I even saved the party hats I bought last year. I'm turning into a grandmother from the Depression, I swear.

- NO BALLOONS ALLOWED. Again, I don't expect everyone to follow this rule, but as far as my decorating goes...nada. Hence the poufs. Those things are SO scary to me. I don't want them near my kid (choking hazard) or in the landfill (SO VERY BAD for animals, you guys!!!). If someone gifts one (usually the Mylar kind in the shape of something), it's fine, but I am a hawk about watching Hadley with it. Plus, I take it out ONLY when I can watch him, then put it in MY bedroom closet. Seriously. It's Fort Knox up in here.

- Use whatchya got. This goes hand-in-hand with reusing decorations. With the ducky theme this year, we've got a handful of rubber duckies (although I'll probably have to get a handful more, admittedly) at home to use for decoration. I also have a mini red wagon (which Hadley, like, never fit in) that would be awesomesauce on a table with some hay or raffia in it. Oh, and I'll peruse his toys to see if anything else goes with the theme.

- Invites. Okay, this is a tricky one. If your family's a super hip one full of folks who are tech-savvy, good for you. No, really, that's awesome! But my family has some, shall we say, old school folks (again, not a bad thing!) who don't spend much time perusing the ol' interwebs. Thus, I make invitations. How do I keep it relatively low waste? I invite fewer people. Tricky of me, huh? Honestly, less people also equals less waste; makes sense, huh? Oh, and believe me, we DO invite the folks who mean the most to us, so no one's missing out here. We're just not inviting everyone we ever met. We didn't do it for our wedding, we're not doing it for our son's second birthday party. ;-)

- Cups and flatware and plates, oh my! Some folks might suggest to use reusable (or "real") plates/silverware/glasses/etc. Believe me, it crossed my mind last year, but I also fall victim of the a) that's gonna take awhile to clean and b) people are raising an eyebrow at me...AGAIN complexes. Instead, I only get the items that I know we'll need (no bowls if there's nothing soup-like or ice creamy), and I try my best to get the compostable stuff. Of course, last year I only found a couple of compostable kinds of flatware, so had to supplement with other plastic ones (grr), so this year will probably consist of using all that up. Again...don't sweat the small stuff, just do your best. Just know that there are more eco-friendly options out there.

- Simplify your theme. You could also avoid a theme altogether, but I'm a nut for a good theme. Goodness knows how long I can get away with one! So, this year's ducky theme will lead into an awesome homemade Sesame Street theme next year (reusing the colorful decorations, duckies, and Hadley's plush toys instead of buying a bunch of trademarked stuff). Simple is best.

- Actually, simplify, in general. This isn't one that we've succeeded with as far as friends and family purchasing gifts entails. As Hadman gets bigger, we'll talk with him about what he really wants and other ways we could ask people to spend their money in honor of his birthday, but at this age I don't want it to seem forced. So, we accept graciously (and sometimes have to return doubles or the things we simply haven't the space for). However, Dave and I try to keep it minimal and put tons of thought into what he's getting based on his interests and what concepts we'd like for him to learn.   

So, here were just a few easy ideas to hopefully help you consider the environment whilst partying it up. There are already a few great resources on the web (like this and this and this) to help you in this arena, so I'm clearly not reinventing the wheel here. Just wanted to let you know what I prioritize in my mind so I'm not ultimately overwhelmed by all the craziness that birthday planning could possibly turn into.
    

Boys' Tees That Don't Suck #2

I recently explained my frustration in the current t-shirt situation for little boys, along with a shout-out to Kohl's for carrying some shirts that weren't super masculine or rude-sounding that helps bridge the divide.

After the fact, though, I realized that I had recently ordered a handful of t-shirts from Old Navy on sale (always on sale; never over $10, people!) that I was also happy with. Here's a few of them, along with a few that I saw on their website recently that I also like (but don't yet own):

Clockwise from upper left, here are very brief descriptions of why I think they're rad.

1. He's almost 2. This says "It's my 2nd birthday" without screaming it. Plus, he can wear it beyond the big day. #instantbirthdaysuit #notthatwayperv #justkiddingiloveyou

2. Because he just is.

3. We love our (organic) mac 'n cheese. He's wearing this shirt today, and I freaking love it.

4. He loves a good chomping animal. (Gotta buy this one when it's on sale, but anything shark, dino, alligator will do.)

5. Speaking of chomping creatures... Dino + guitar? Fughettaboutit.

6. Because Father's Day is coming up, and Dad is both of our heroes.

Again, PLEASE don't let the cuteness factor fool you. I advise that you only buy these when they're on sale. That's half the battle here! :-)

And the Second Birthday Theme Will Be...

Yep, we're going kind of classic and traditional on this one. (And that greenish is totally supposed to be blue. Zoinks.)

I pondered several generic ideas (zoo, barnyard, "twinkle, twinkle little star" -- not with animals present on those first two, though...I'm no Kate Gosselin) and a handful of more obvious "kidcentric" character themes he's into (Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, Mo Willems, Sesame Street). It was a total tie between Sesame Street and "ducks," and I'm not gonna lie -- it was a tough decision.

I'm not too surprised, either. They're both totally Hadley's jam right now.

We're not huge "buyer of trademarked stuff" people, but he's got a Sesame Street fold-out couch that he uses to watch ANY of "his" shows (a sweet gift), a handful of hand-held character toys (let's call them pre-action figure action figures...of cute and cuddly Muppets), and, of course, his plush dolls of Bert 'n Ernie, Cookie Monster, Grover, The Count, Big Bird...and I'm a horrible Mommy because I'm forgetting if I left anyone out. *scratches head*

Notice we don't have Elmo (he likes Elmo, but he's not in LOVE with Elmo...ya get me?), or Zoe, or Abby Cadabby, or any of the newer breed of Sesame Street monsters. Let's just say that if we're going to show him an episode on Netflix and he demands requests a particular character, it's usually "hee hee" (the noise Ernie makes when he laughs, you know the one) or "la la la" (Big Bird) or "ah aaaahhh" (The Count). He also does a "bam bam bam" motion (for Oscar) and a "nom nom nom" hand to mouth motion (for Cookie Monster). Um, he's also calling lots of things "Bob" lately. That may or may not be related. Bob.

But, the word "duck" comes out of his mouth about 50+ times a day lately. I bring home duck books (fiction and non-fiction) from school. He quacks. He carries rubber duckies around whenever the thought occurs to him. He didn't want to leave the flower shop we visited just before Easter that has an awesome annual display of a dozen happy, splashing baby ducks.

Kid's obsessed.

And it's just so sweet.

After some more conversation, Dave and I realized that next year, he'll probably still be into Sesame Street. If that's the case (hopefully it is), we can do a Sesame theme next year, or something else he's super into. But, he isn't always going to be into such an endearing little thing like duckies. Plus, it was a huge theme for his baby shower, so it makes this mama a tad sentimental to think about the evolution from shower to second *sniff, sniff* birthday.

Duckies, it is. Plus, Hadley agreed to it when we asked him to pick between the two. That clinched the deal. Not that he in any way knew what he was really voting on.

So, what's this theme about? The invite is just a quick mock-up (sans the place or RSVP info...not even sure of the time yet, really), but can you really have a two-year-old's duck party without the ubiquitous rubber ducky? Didn't think so.

Side note: If we do Sesame Street next year, you know I'm repurposing rubber duckies for an Ernie connection. #usewhatyouvegot

Speaking of reusing, most of the stuff I made last year (cake topper, big poufs, even utensils and plates), I'm using this year...if the tissue paper poufs have held up being squished in a bag all year. (Ahem.) 

Last year's party was mostly a colored theme (orange, yellow, blue, green), which all totally work with duckies.

The food will most likely be simple (if you really know me, you're laughing at the use of that word -- last year was SUPPOSED to be simple) - fruits and veggies with dip on ice, either pizza or BBQ-type stuff, pretzels/chips, and dessert. There is much pinning to be done, but we'll either do a nice big cake with yellow frosting or cupcakes (mini duck toppers, anyone?) and a small cake for monkey to dive into. Why do I think he'll dive a bit more this year?

Decor, well, yeah. Ducks. But to keep it cohesive with the mix of last year's colors, blue and yellow tablecloths (blue = water) should do the trick. As the invitation implies, I hope to make some buntings to drape, either across the seating area or behind the food table...or both. Maybe some blue or yellow streamers. En masse, they can pack a punch. And I'm sure I'll probably make a couple of ducky posters or a "year in pictures" poster to hang.

I've seen some cute ideas for the food area, like rafia (hay) as fillers, but the thing I've noticed most is that the thing that makes a table is its organization. Rows, my dears. Rows. Oh, and cute signage. Preferably on sticks. ("Quackers", anyone?)

Beverages can be chilled in a baby pool or galvanized tub (whatever is handy) and an additional small tub can be used as a fun game: everyone picks a duck out and the ones with an "H" (or whatever) marked on the bottom wins a prize.

Oh, and since these shindigs tend to be adult-centric for now (he has one best friend/cousin about a year older; then two teenaged cousins who are incredible...just way older; otherwise, friends in far-off places), those gifts will be, like, plants or candles or something. We'll see. 

I'd do a duck piñata, but like I said, it's gonna be mostly adults. (Although, the image of our moms whacking away blindly is kind of awesome.) We keep things low-key at our events since our friends and family are pretty good at mingling and finding their own fun. One day when more kids are involved, they'll need more fun/structure (structure does not equal zero fun, I promise...says the boring librarian ;-)), so we'll do more games/activities at that point.

For now, just digging out the sidewalk chalk and balls for catch will be just fine, I think.

If you want to see what else I've got up my sleeve, check back on my Pinterest board for Hadley's birthday. (There are also some ideas I picked last year that I never used, which may help me in my future parties, too.) Check back often; I'm sure it'll be growing a ton.

Boys' Tees That Don't Suck

Just when I thought I'd have to either start sewing my own t-shirts for Hadley to wear (nah. gon. happen.) or begrudgingly send him out into the world touting ridiculously high-octane, high-testosterone phrases, I found some BETTER t-shirts. Hey. I'm a mama, and he's still in the "little boy" (ALL boy, as they say) yet still super sweet, sensitive, untouched phase. I'd rather not plaster him with skulls and sports quite yet. (Or ever, if he's not into that. Up to him.)

Don't get me wrong. I think we're at times pretty hipster in our "How cute! An irreverent shirt for a toddler!" way. But, for the most part, cute, chill, and sometimes funny is my t-shirt preference for the monkey. And the fewer licensed characters the better. But, because of a few "likes" that he has developed, he has one Elmo shirt (gift) and a couple of superhero ones (he pulls Dave's comic book sets off the shelves and pushes them at him until he "reads" it).

So, a few Throwback Thursdays ago, when Zulily displayed a vintage-themed grouping of t-shirts for adults AND kiddies, I was drooling. Tons of 1980s-themed tees. Mister Rogers' face left and right. Awesomeness.

Unfortunately, the thing about Zulily is that it's a timed selling. So, I can't even track down the images or brand let alone a direct Zulily link for ya. Wop wop.

Another great place that we've been collecting hilarious t-shirts is Woot. Just recently, I heard that they went from an "only the voted upon tee designs become worthy to sell" (creating a similar "timed" purchase period...which forces you to either walk away to avoid the pressure or plop down twice what we normally spend on a kid's shirt to grab it quickly) to a more "normal" shopping experience, but the site still looks the same to me.

Regardless, the price usually has me shaking my head. Dave, however, has plunked down some cash a handful of times on shirts he couldn't turn down for the monkey. Needless to say we have to wait until he's a 4T before we can use them.

More recently, however, I landed across some shirts at Kohl's that made the clouds part and the sun shine through. The sale price was a fraction cheaper than Zulily and Woot (admittedly not all of the choices are as cool, though), so it gave me some faith. And guess what! A few of the selections are actual Woot designs!! Hooray for business partnerships!

Here are some that I'm drooling over for the Hadman. (We own a couple of them, but these weren't all available locally. On the same token, not all of the shirts I purchased were available to show you online, either...so, until I can get a rad DSLR camera, our little model will just wear his outfits for only us to see.)

See what I mean? Fun. Not too crazy. Oh, and he's terribly into alligators (chomp chomp) and he knows a dinosaur stomps, so those are kind of relevant in our toddler's world.

What about you? Have you found any great places for kid threads? We're obsessed with keeping his wardrobe cute but cheap (all of these t-shirts are currently on sale for between five and six bucks).

Gotta run! Munchkin just woke up from his nap saying "Uh oh!" That's never good.