Tough Room

I often find myself trolling the Internet, bouncing from one blog to the next. There are plenty that just don't do it for me and rare ones that I become a huge, gotta-check-it-everyday fan of. Then, there are those in-betweeners. The ones that are plugging along, doing their thing. Their pictures may not impress, but their ideas (be they recipes or DIY projects or eco-friendly ideas or goodness knows what else) ring true. I end up wasting an hour clicking, clicking, clicking until I know the blogger; their baby's name, the contents of their home, what they eat for dinner, and even their hopes and dreams.

Then, I shut down the computer and check the laundry, start dinner, and generally reconnect to my own reality. A few days later, I wonder about a recipe they posted and realize...I've forgotten their blog's name. I may never hit upon it again, and move on.

As I read just such a blog (in this case small + friendly), I was struck by the harshness of blogging. I found myself reading and looking for reasons to be cynical and suddenly thought, "Crap. Am I one of THOSE?" I can't be! I'm a blogger, myself (albeit a non-professional one). I have wicked esteem issues and know that there are "haters" out there, but am lucky enough that I haven't taken any hits, myself, yet. Not real hits, anyway. It just makes me self-assess.

I might be looking for a reason to dislike a blog so that I DON'T have dozens to check on any given day. There was a time when I had the luxury of such a respite in my life. But, with a baby in tow -- even after work before the baby gets home - there's simply too much to do or be concerned with. I check out the cream that rises, ultimately lifting my spirits and opening my imagination for the day, leaving the skim milk on the bottom.

By doing this, I wonder if I'm leaving out pieces of goodness that have settled, too. Am I not supporting those who are working, heck, harder than I am; who deserve a look-see as much as I feel I do?

There's so much  negativity to be found, even on the most popular of blogs. Heck, the Internet seems like a place that's built for the worst of humankind's foibles. Nameless, faceless (for the most part) people allowed to say whatever they want without any (for the most part) recourse? Remember when the teacher would leave the room when you were a kid and someone always got up from their seat or threw something just to test how far they could go? Yeah. We're all children when on the Internet. The mean ones. And we don't want to see others happy, fulfilled and successful...especially when we're not.

No more Blue Meanie here. I'll look more and for the positivity -- at least when I find the time. It's a lesson in awareness and tempering one's criticism; one that I think we can all use from time to time.