So, ever since we made our "big announcement" (which I simply alluded to here, sneaky me), which was actually news quite awhile ago for close friends and families and came out in strategic drips-and-drabs to avoid being completely inundated by kind folks, we've had lots of questions flung our way. Some, I'm happy to answer. Some, however, we won't. The only reason we're not answering them is because we are brutally mean and out to piss every person we know OFF. BIG time.
(In case you don't realize, that was a complete joke. We're not out to upset ANYONE!! :-) We want our bundle of joy to be just that - bringin' nothin' but happy.)
If you'd meet Dave and I face-to-face, you'd find that we are actually pretty quiet and low-key about everything baby-related. This isn't to say that we're not absolutely ecstatic and excited about our special delivery. We really are!! But, we, as a couple, tend to stray on the side of privacy and, to a certain extent, are uber-controlling about that side of our lives. I'm sure it's one thing that frustrated a family member or two (or all of them) as to how we went about planning our wedding; we wanted things a certain way (and not "out of our hands") and didn't appreciate a ton of interference in the process. I know that this is impossible with a certain amount of things, baby-wise, but some of it we can keep tabs on.
There's a part of me that feels guilty even writing about the fact that I am pregnant, knowing that some I'm very close with may be against being so public, but while Dave and I are a private couple, I tend to be a huge embarrassment of an open book. This blog is insanely important to me as an outlet, and if anyone out there can learn from my experiences and mistakes or get a chuckle from how miserably I fail at something (simply bound to happen, folks!), that means everything. Simultaneously, I'm not even sure that I'll divulge pictures of the baby on the blog when that time comes, or post its name. (We'll see!) So, clearly, there's a level of protection that my family deserves, while I'm able to spout off about whatever-the-heck-I-wanna here in Blogland.
As for the little one, we're learning as time goes by and we sit on certain ideas and questions, that answers often arise on their own, without much conversation whatsoever. It's the "Zen Decision" method, and it works well for us. On other points, we'll have to discuss until the very end and possibly not have a decisive outcome...but those are between the parents, anyway, so folks won't even know whether we've made a decision or not. We're sneaky lil' buggers. ;-) Mwahahaha!
Some of the questions that we've received that we've got answers for include:
"When are you due?" (Thank goodness no one has asked this out of the blue. I'm not really showing yet!) July 3rd, but I'd love a July 4th baby. A "Yankee Doodle Dandy", if you will. And I've heard all the fireworks jokes and comments one human can stand. ;-)
"Are you going to find out the gender of the baby?" No. This was one of those "sat silently and thought about it" decisions that we agreed to completely in the end. Strangely enough, before we got pregnant, Dave was all for this decision and I was all about finding out. Then, one day, it just hit me...then DAVE was the one reminding me how hard it was to purchase clothes, etc in advance for my sister's daughter (who remained sex-less 'til she arrived).
It was a tough one for us, but knowing that a) mistakes can happen (the doctor thought he saw a *honk-honk* when it was actually an *awooga*) and b) I very much dislike when someone refers to the baby by its name (because the gender is supposedly known) before it's born - especially at a baby shower (with the name in decorations all over the place - ack!). My Irish blood feels like it has to do a million counter-superstitions to make up for it.
So, no. We don't want to know what it's packin'.
"What's its nickname?" If, by nickname, you mean "Peanut", "Bean", "Pea", or any other adorable concept such as "Scooter", it doesn't have one...yet. If it does, that will probably be between Daddy and me. It's another sort of privacy thing. The same as not posting the ultrasound pictures all over Facebook or on the blog (although I've shown the folks who have wanted to see, in real person). "Sure, let's put my wife's uterus out there for the whole world to look at." When Dave puts it that way, I totally agree. I know folks want to share the connection to the bundle of joy as soon as possible (I get it - 9 months is a long time to wait before meeting someone), but it's a game of patience, I suppose.
"What names are you considering?" Nice try! I've mentioned a few to my mother and mother-in-law, but even that I'm considering halting. For example, the next week, I'll find that Dave suddenly doesn't feel the same way about the name, or apparently never DID like it, or something to that effect. Yeah. We haven't gotten into the discussion much, but odds are we'll have two girl names and two boy names in our back pockets going into labor, then after meeting the little one, we'll make the decision. I'd hate to say one name then have it look nothing like that name. :-)
"But how will you decide what colors to put in the nursery, then?" (asked with a sense of panic, which I find hysterical) Hee hee, I already know. Well, for the most part. While I'd love to have the nursery 100% complete when the little one comes home, I'm aiming for maybe 80-90% done.
Currently, the color on the walls is a nice light blue. No, I'm not "hoping for" a boy - although it would be neat to have the "big brother protector" like I had (but I have a feeling it's a girl...I've had dreams...and it'd be neat to give my niece, Lizzie, a female cousin pretty close in age), but it's a nice color and I'd like to work with what we have, to an extent. PLUS, we've already found the perfect shade of green (no, not sage) to go in the room - just gotta get more accessories to go with it. Then, after the little one comes, I'll throw up some orange accents for a boy or purple accents for a girl. Seriously, it works in my brain. This is one area that I'm happy to "divulge all" here. :-)
"Cloth or disposable?" Tentatively, cloth (but some more eco-friendly disposables in the very beginning - most cloth diapers don't fit a newborn very well). And they ain't your mama's (or grandma, depending on your age) cloth diapers. Stay tuned for lots more information that I've dug up through hours upon hours of research. :-)
"Bottle or boob?" Is anyone surprised that I referred to it that way...and is anyone else surprised that I'm actually WRITING about such a personal thing? (Seriously. Have you MET me?) Yes, I'll gladly talk about boobs and what comes out of them...but not find out the sex or divulge the name. I'm weird, what can I say?
Anyhoo, to answer the question: If I can, I will. If it's too much of a challenge to the point where it's no longer healthy for the baby to keep trying, I'll admit defeat and consider it a job well-attempted. But, I'm really, really hoping that it works.
So, those are the questions that we're WILLING to answer, or at least have answers for. As with lots of big life changes, there's always a chance that an answer or two will change. We're human, and it's our prerogative (anyone else start singing the song in their heads...or, better yet, out loud?) to reconsider.
I'm always open to positive input and feedback, so feel free to share experiences and comment below! :-)