I was enjoying the first hour or so of my "free Friday" (I've got a 4-day weekend, baby! Yeah!!) by, what else, reading blogs. Really, guys, I don't just blog for fun - it's mostly because I'm just so inspired by the blogs that I read that it encourages me to write, myself. I get my encouragement from these generally faceless, wonderful women (mostly). While my writing is generally about, hell, ANYTHING going on (can anyone determine what this blog's about? Eco-stuff? DIY and design? Married life? Eating? Cats? Ranting? Maybe I should pare it down...hee hee, who am I kidding?), most of the blogs that I'm interested in are design and DIY-based. These chicks (again, the occasional guy...er, one, John from YHL) may be talking patterns and paint, but they're courageous and downright inspirational.
So, while reading my daily dose of YHL, Sherry mentioned that they've taken a lot of risks as far as their new house is concerned, including lots of interesting color choices and great patterns, and just thinking outside of the box for the most part. (Mind you, I adooooored their first house, but am excited to see what they accomplish with this one.) She posted a link to another blog, Nesting Place that puts, quite eloquently, the words to the fear that many readers AND bloggers (I'd say people in general) feel about making changes to their homes.
Nailing holes (why is picture-hanging so terrifying??). Purchasing furniture. Hell, purchasing ANYTHING to coexist in a funky, interesting (but not "gah") way. Painting. Painting. Painting. And let's not get started on larger renovations.
It all reminds me of my recent to-do list, which specifically stated:
Yeah, I've been pretty desperate lately when I take into consideration the whole mess of a color scheme goin' on in this place. Like, "time to re-paint the living room and dining room" sort of craziness. As I mentioned, things are looking a little too monochromatic, and not in the good way.
But, what has me froze with insecurity? Several things.
A- We know that this isn't our forever home, but we're also not sure how long we WILL be here...so changes that the average local buyer wouldn't like may be detrimental to an eventual quick sale.
B- Also, the age of the house makes me question decisions...lots. While I LOVE and NEED an older home (it's just in my blood, don't make me explain it ;-)), I also like to mix the old with the new, especially in terms of color and pattern. And my mother would kill me if I painted the woodwork any more than it currently is (I know she's secretly wishing that I'd strip it all and refinish it, but I doubt that's happenin').
C- Another question mark, for me, is the fact that I'm not alone in my decisions; financially and emotionally, my hubby is along for the ride. And, man, does he like details. And, man, am I not good at describing my thoughts - or, at least, the plan that I have cropping up mentally for a space that may or may not work out. When I try to explain, I frequently get the supportive-yet-confused look -- you just have to see it to believe it, it exists. But, at least he at least pretends to trust me enough to let me try ideas.
D- I just question myself too much. My general self-confidence level determines whether I'm motivated enough to accomplish a project, simple as that. This is my biggest deterrent.
Things like Polyvore and doing the legwork to figure out what I like (by searching for online images or tearing pages out of magazines that inspire me) give me a little more confidence. But, where do I get the most inspiration and confidence? Those blogs. And the blogs I read today made me feel like it's okay to go back and adjust some of the choices I've made, or to change my mind about some of the projects I'm about to start. It's a good life lesson in itself: just try what you'd like and if it doesn't work out, try something else. You can't force more confidence onto yourself, but you can look to others for inspiration, which is the seed of confidence.
Now, time to sport some goggles and sand the bathroom ceiling before finally taking a shower. Gotta love a free Friday!